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2600 AD: And Other Astonishing Tales

by Mississippi Bones

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Ioannis Valiakos
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Ioannis Valiakos This album is a masterpiece! Perhaps some of the most intelligent lyrics out there, with killer vocals and, oh boy, it doesn't get groovier than that. I feel super lucky to have this gem on vinyl!! Favorite track: Greener Pastures (I Hear Chernobyl Is Nice This Time of Year).
Colin M.
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Colin M. Slept on this way too long. Mississippi Bones return with another fun, awesome collect of southern-style rock and roll with some of the most entertaining lyrics around. Favorite track: The Eulogy of Captain Sam Quint.
doomcrew
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doomcrew i hear a clutch influence.but alot more going on here.they have notched out their own sound.great hooks. Favorite track: Butcher of the 9 Lunar Mansions.
Tempest2097
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Tempest2097 Fat slabs of rock with clever lyrics, it was a really hard choice to pick this song over Metaphor is Just a Word. Just give it a chance and you won't be disappointed. Favorite track: Thank You For Listening.
👁⃤
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👁⃤ The way they combine soulful, bluesy, southern rock with heavy riffs and catchy vocal melodies make each album a joyride of unequaled measure. Git yer bone on! Favorite track: Greener Pastures (I Hear Chernobyl Is Nice This Time of Year).
Henrik Thøgersen
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Henrik Thøgersen Mississippi Bones is a rare breed of band, carving out monolithic balls-out rock albums that just keep on giving. The groovy riffage draws you in, the catchy tunes get you hooked, and the lyrical shenanigans send you reeling off into cosmos and itching to hit the replay button once the ride is over. With 2600 AD, Bones hit me right in the feels once again. Brilliant work, guys. And Jared, you are already there, my man. Favorite track: 2600 AD - Jared Vs The Space Invaders.
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1.
Scorched earth rains. In the distance, out on the high plains Stands a black wolf looking down on the masses as they’re marching. The metronome will count their pass in measures of three, sometimes four. Praying for peace can’t stop this. Gerund phrase or just a present participle? You won’t know if you can’t tell the subject. Hey hey, hey hey. Darkness falls down on the battlefield. The war’s begun. It has begun. Pig men and mutants goose stepping to the tune of fear and the rhythms of aggression While the silhouette and shadows dance To past projections that will consume the night and steal the air. Hey hey, hey hey. A drone named Peace, payload signed, sealed, delivered. Great Scott!!! Bakshi to the future. Necron 99, how will we survive? How will we survive? How long can the people suffer evil? Well, the black wolf is circling. How long till the magic becomes static? How long can the people suffer evil? Well, the black wolf is circling. How long till the magic becomes static again? A drone named Peace, payload signed, sealed, delivered. Great Scott!!! Bakshi to the future. Necron 99, how will we survive? How will we survive? Hey hey, hey hey.
2.
Never pure. Never safe. Never sure. Never gone. Never far. Never apart. Never understood. Never full. Never whole. Never love. Never more. Never alive. Never young. Never dead. Never leaving. Never connected. Never beaten. Never wonder. Never forget. Never question. Never regret. Nine mansions fell on that dirty moon Get down and find your religion. You know the butcher’s gonna be here soon. Nine dead found on that lonely moon I got down and found my religion. Make haste, the butcher’s gonna be here soon. Never contained. Never free. Never complete, no, never soothing. Never satisfied. Never ending. Never escape. Never peace. Never burdened. Never tamed. Never taught. Never suspected. Never caught. Never knowing. Never see. Never hear. Never alive. Never again Nine mansions fell on that dirty moon Get down and find your religion. You know the butcher’s gonna be here soon. Nine dead found on that lonely moon I got down and found my religion. Make haste, the butcher’s gonna be here soon. Worming through holes in the fabric of space. Swimming through the cosmic currents and eating singularities. Then there am I, the butchers scribe, enslaved to chronicle our demise. With photographs I apprise humanity of its quietus. So behold, the curse of 9. Never love. Never dead. Never safe. Never forget. Never full. Never aging. Never always never ending.
3.
Dark dreams, dark words, stained on my one ply paper roll. Here I sit on my throne. Flies whisper inspired verse But, how do you make sweet the speech that flows from a mouth that feeds on feces with a gluttony That’d make the devil himself stand up and say “What the hell boy”? You’ve got a message people need to hear About as good as the stains in your underwear. Sitting in the stink of your genius, waiting for it to drop. Is that your ass or a hole in the ground? Can’t tell the difference because everybody’s loving the smell of their own ideas. Profundity is coming out your rear. Sitting in the stink of your genius, of your genius. You wanna know what I‘ve learned sitting here alone? Everything gets lost inside this hole. Your hopes, beliefs, and dreams. So grab your hip waders cause this shit is deep. I’ve been looking for insights inside this outhouse and I’ve found Life is dark, it stinks, and shit keeps piling up, and in the end everything you ever loved gets flushed down. You’ve got a message people need to hear about as good as the stains in your underwear. Sitting in the stink of your genius, waiting for it to drop. Is that your ass or a hole in the ground? Can’t tell the difference because everybody’s loving the smell of their own ideas. Profundity is coming out your rear. Sitting in the stink of your genius, of your genius.
4.
Three doors are opened with care. The fourth one is closed for repair But, they all lead to the same place To the cold hard truth This beautiful lie’s cruel. It’s your choice of illusion. Here beneath the weight of the world the sky is always falling And the watchers never sleep so the planets won’t stop turning. Begging for reprieve just a moment from our burdens we hear Sleep Atlas, at last. World splits wide as time unfolds Millennia upon your shoulders. Uncounted souls spring forth to rejoice and cry out never more. Here beneath the weight of the world the sky is always falling And the watchers never sleep so the planets won’t stop turning. Begging for reprieve just a moment from our burdens we hear sleep. Well, find the mercy to set me free lord. Oh set me free. Well, find the mercy to set me free lord. Oh set me free. Here beneath the weight of the world the sky is always falling And the watchers never sleep so the planets won’t stop turning. Begging for reprieve just a moment from our burdens we hear Sleep Atlas, at last.
5.
Soon now, small one, with Godspeed we carry on. One day they’ll join you. Hallelujah! A place where time twists and loops back in on its self A child misplaced in years looks deep inside herself. The pages scattered out across her bedroom floor Stories of battles fought, and a storms that brings us war. 10,000 tons of steel, 10,000 tons of bone Collide with brutal force, erupt oil and blood. While just outside we play Cowboys and Armageddon Inside she dreams of being held in her mother’s arms. As you’re dreaming safely tucked in your bed That demon sings its lonesome song, and we carry on. Hey little sister, what you got in your head? Ground zero’s calling but you're decades ahead. One mile up and years in the past Father Time lost you, but he’s gaining ground fast and singing, “Soon now, small one, with Godspeed we carry on. One day they’ll join you. Hallelujah!” The door swings open wide, a brilliant burning light A face thought lost to time offers a loving smile. Go now, you poor lost child, the door will lead you home, into your mother’s arms, and into oblivion. As you’re dreaming safely tucked in your bed That demon sings its lonesome song, and we carry on. Hey little sister, what you got in your head. Ground zero’s calling but your decades ahead. One mile up and years in the past Father Time lost you, but he’s gaining ground fast and singing, “Soon, now small one, with Godspeed we carry on. One day they’ll join you. Hallelujah!”
6.
Death rays plunge down from above In 8 bit carnage and destruction. Galactic armies bringing Yars revenge. Invaders spreading out across the land. Somebody get me down to missile command Cause this defender’s ready to defend. And I’m gone. Blast away. Up and out headed through the star gate. Gravitar will engage the Galaxian armies in space. Radio moon patrol; send my friends and my family my love…. Cause I’ve gone alone might not get home. Oh interstellar judgment day. Star raiders make us veer off course. A giant centipede swims in the void. We make our way blasting through asteroids While space spiders make ridiculous noise. And I’m gone. Blast away. Up and out headed through the star gate. Gravitar will engage the Galaxian armies in space. Radio moon patrol; send my friends and my family my love…. Oh I’ve gone off to fight these space wars, might just return with the high score. Galactic armies bringing Yars revenge. Invaders spreading out across the land. Somebody get me down to missile command Cause this defender’s ready to defend. And I’m gone. Blast away. Up and out headed through the star gate. Gravitar will engage the Galaxian armies in space. Radio moon patrol; send my friends and my family my love…. Cause I’m gone.
7.
Our time on Earth is like sailing on the open water A struggle to survive But, just as stormy seas subside in time to become still and quiet So is true of life. With heavy hearts we say “Goodbye.” We stop to pray for that old salt today, and make sure he’s shipped off in a proper way And if the man is only half as grand as he would boast, then heavens gonna need itself a bigger boat. He was lost at sea and drug down to the deep in the belly of a devilish monstrosity And may god curse that beast in its entirety, the head, the tail, the whole damn thing. Our time on Earth is like sailing on the open water, a struggle to survive. But, just as stormy seas subside in time to become still and quiet, so is true of life. With heavy hearts we say “Goodbye.” Well, I know he’ll be missed by you and me, but I’m sure he would tell you that none will grieve With more sorrow or more woefully than those Spanish ladies of which he’s sing. I hope St. Peter greeted you an hour before the devil even knew your time had come. Well, way hey and blow the man down. May you find your way to Fiddlers Green. We raise our glass to you and sing; Oh Show me the way to go home. I’m tired and I want to go to bed. I had a little drink about an hour ago and it went straight to my head. Wherever I may roam, over land or sea or foam You can always hear me singing this song. Oh show me the way to go home. Oh show me the way to go home. Our time on Earth is like sailing on the open water, a struggle to survive. But, just as stormy seas subside in time to become still and quiet, so is true of life. With heavy hearts we say “Goodbye.”
8.
In single file they come piling in Given flight on the back of the behemoth. Silent and faceless, they’ve traveled en masse from shadows inside the wasteland. Gathered in a circle they kneel. The sacrifice gives back to the behemoth. It’s a somber incantation they chant, filling the room with their voices. The place where space and time and singularity collide We’ll pay the keepers toll to let us pass. So when the sun finally finds where the moon goes to hide We can let it burn this whole world down to ash. Inside his robe he holds a dagger, a surprise for the back of the behemoth As the blade sinks in the backs of his kin he hears the gurgled screams of “Traitor!” With a vicious, satisfied smile he slowly turns his back on the behemoth. As he begins to walk all the doors open up. Sarcastically he begins to mock, The place where space and time and singularity collide We’ll pay the keepers toll to let us pass. So when the sun finally finds where the moon goes to hide We can let it burn this whole world down to ash. The place where space and time and singularity collide We’ll pay the keepers toll to let us pass. So when the sun finally finds where the moon goes to hide We can let it burn this whole world down to ash.
9.
This world has just grown so fast paced It's truly the human race. I think it's time for me at least to move on to greener pastures. We can slow down, and find ourselves. The only date is right now. Time will make no difference. Oh the grass is always greener on the other side. Good God, on the other side. Come on. It will be a nice vacation. We’ll soak in radiation. It’ll give us super powers; at least that's the expectation. Oh, the grass will be so green on the other side. We’ll build a house beside a pond and go fishing all day long. We’ll catch ourselves a catfish weighing 300lbs. Then batter dip, season with lime, and have ourselves a fish fry. An ale for you, a stout for me Oh the grass will be so green on that other side. Good God, on the other side. Come on. We can use our super powers To build ourselves a tower And defend this paradise that we’ve claimed as ours. Oh, the grass will be so green on the other side. We’ll use our psychic powers to converse with the wolves. We’ll ride them into battle like orcs on top of wargs. With gnashing teeth and flaming swords We’ll ride across the land just like the khans of old singing: Oh Chernobyl!!! The birthplace of our mutant race. Oh Chernobyl!!! The old ways will be laid to waste. The ground will be stained red with the blood of our enemies. The few that are left remaining will cower at our feet. All will kneel down before us. This crumbling world will become our paradise singing: Oh Chernobyl!!! The birthplace of our mutant race. Oh Chernobyl!!! The old ways will be laid to waste. Oh Chernobyl!!! Bear witness to mankind’s fate. Oh Chernobyl!!! Radiate and retaliate.
10.
Metaphor is just a word for a comparison between unlike things But, when you think about it, them’s just words too. Descartes walks into a bar. Bartender says "Hey, can I get you a shot?" Descartes says," I think not." and then he disappears. I think there for I am, at least I think I do. If you don’t understand, you might need someone else to explain it to you. When the photon checked in to his hotel they asked him "Can we get your bags?" He replied, "No thank you, I'm traveling light." Deer with no eyes? No eye deer. No legs and no eyes? Still, no eye deer. A no eyed fish? Fsh. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? What if I told you this was intelligent conversation? Would you get the point? Would you get the joke? Would it even matter? Well, I’m not thinking so. I’ll never trust an atom because they make up everything And never joke with a klepto because they take everything literally. How many words does it take to turn a phrase one might ask? Eleven, one to turn the wheel and one to hit the gas. Knock, knock. Who’s there? To. To who? Actually, it’s to whom when following a preposition Or used in the object position. Why’d that chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side? What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? What if I told you this was a metaphor for my opinions? Would you get the point? Would you get the joke? Does it really matter? Well, I’m not thinking so. I’ve got ideas swirling round my head But the words to relate seem to be under lock and key And when I can’t find the key, I break into song And if you can’t relate, well man you’re not the only one. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? What if I told you this was the best thing I’ve ever written? Would you get the point? Would you get the joke? Does it really matter? Well, I’m not thinking so.
11.
It’s the year of the bastard. The new scum is back on the streets. The dirge, the cure, one more time, tales of human waste. Oh lonely city. Spiders thrash. Lust for life. Listen to the chair leg of truth. It does not lie. Bowel disrupter, set to prolapsed. Get ready for the ride of your life. Oh lonely city, gouge away. I keep watching, with hope, the nightly news to see If this city’s been accidentally sterilized in the middle of the night. This remains a zero society. I keep watching to see. Oh god, I hate this city. A twisted hedonistic amalgam of consumerism, sex, drugs and violence. The public is mindless. The government’s spineless, and that damn smiler keeps on smiling. Oh lonely city A lunatics job? The complex of a god? My better qualities, to name a few, but I’ve exposed charlatans, brought their campaigns down crumbling , and made the president shit himself, and it’s only noon. Oh lonely city, gouge away. I keep watching, with hope, the nightly news to see If this city’s been accidentally sterilized in the middle of the night. This remains a zero society. I keep watching to see. Oh god, I hate this city. No, there’s no such thing as truth. I keep watching, with hope, the nightly news to see If half the city’s been accidentally sterilized in the middle of the night. This remains a zero society. I keep watching to see. Oh god, I hate this city.
12.
This show’s still going. The tape’s still rolling The notes still coming even with no money’s flowing. I get plenty satisfied just breaking even. As long as I’m still breathing, I’ll still be singing. Ain’t got no words of wisdom not said better in a movie. Ain’t got no unique point of veiw that people need to hear or see. Got pop and counter culture rotting up my brain Can’t seem to write a song without a reference made. Don’t need it justified, or care about validity. Don’t need a crowd singing “I’m rolling 20’s.” back at me. Taught by my parents and Futurama to be whatever I want to do. Is that a problem? It’s just that bad jokes are just how I communicate. Coherent thoughts and ideas I just can’t seem to keep straight. I use so many words with so little to say. Confusion’s my co-pilot, we get lost every day. But to get back on track there's a point I'm trying to make I'm just looking for the perfect words for what I'm trying to say I could sum it up with the Hanneman/King/Hanneman/Hanneman I doubt you get the but Fish is probably laughing. Is this another joke or am I being serious? Well my though train derailed somewhere in the second verse. I guess if pressed I’d say Picard’s the better captian So hope that’s the answer cause I forgot the question To friends and family, and all those listening I thank you for your patience I’ll get there eventually. It just takes me a while, and Bird I’m almost there And you should have seen this coming That's what she said! This show’s still going. The tape’s still rolling And I’m still rambling on not even knowing How to find the words for what I’m trying to say. Well sometimes words can’t do it justice So you just make the music really big And sing at the top of your lungs and hope they get it. Thank you for listening. Well sometimes words can’t do it justice So put down the pen and say fuck it Sing at the top of your lungs and hope they get it. Thank you for listening. Well sometimes words can’t do it justice So you just make the music really big And sing at the top of your lungs and hope they get it. Thank you James Griffiths Sometimes you just scream into the mic for the fuck of it If it’s too loud Josh can automate it. Sing at the top of your lings and hope they get it. Thank you for listening.

about

2600 AD: And Other Astonishing Tales is the 4th full-length album from Mississippi Bones.

Mississippi Bones thanks: As always, Josh and Joel, Neil Turri for stepping in and saving the day. Jimmy the Guvna, Scott Lawhun and most of all...you.

In 2010, Dusty and Jared made an album for fun. It was supposed to to be a one and done. 6 years later, we are releasing our 4th full-length album. Your support is why we have been able to continue. We are both amazed and humbled by it and have nothing but gratitude for letting us, in a small way, into your world via speakers. So, from all of us...thank you for listening.

credits

released September 2, 2016

Jared Collins - Vocals
Dusty Donley - Guitars
Jason Miller - Drums
Derik Dunson - Guitars & Vocals
Jason Rector - Bass
Heather Collins - Vocals

Additional Organ and artwork by Scott Lawhun

Produced by Josh Palmer at Zombietakeover Media

Guitar Re-Amping by Neil Turri at Amish Electric Chair Studios

All songs written and recorded by Mississippi Bones

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Mississippi Bones Ada, Ohio

Nestled in the flat lands of Hardin County Ohio, Mississippi Bones has been pummeling the world with fat slabs o’rock for over 10 years and counting. With a catalog consisting of six studio albums and numerous singles and EPs, the Bones have created a rich history full of swampy riffs, pop culture references, and sci-fi shenanigans. ... more

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